community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
