You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
