I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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