It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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