We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
