I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
