I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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