Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
