I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
