im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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