Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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