I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
