Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
