I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
