thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
