This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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