Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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