Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
