Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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