I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
