So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
