is your mom at the bar?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
