Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we made out on top of his cat.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
