I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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