My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
