i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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