Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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