just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
