I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
