i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
