she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
