cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
