Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
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