ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
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