I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
