he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think your dad took our porno
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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