You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
