It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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