Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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