her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
