Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
