I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
