I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
