she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
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I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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