How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
