He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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