This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
