I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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