Having a random hookup so left but love u
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
