I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Randomize
