ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
