If i come over, it means nothing
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
