at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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