Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
