She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
