So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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