Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
