I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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