also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize