You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize