bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
