just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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