oh god the rape fog is back!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
