I think my vagina is haunted
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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