Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think a kid would responsible me up
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
