I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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