How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
