that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
