sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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